This is a bit long. Just thought I'd throw that out there.
Applying for jobs...you gotta love it. Most require a resume to be sent. Some require cover letters or typing certificates. A couple might ask for proof of graduation from High School or proof of birth ("Do you hear me talking? Yes, that means I am living.") Lately, I've even had to take tests to prove I'm not an idiot. It is this last requirement that landed me in a room filled with folding tables, chairs, #2 pencils, and Scantron sheets.
First of all, they made us wait outside the building while they prepared the room. There I was, anxiously waiting in line like Black Friday, hoping to go in and score big. Line placement is KEY, and since I wasn't in the front of the line, I was stuck with the worst seat in the room, sitting on the side of a folding table where the legs and crossbars made it absolutely impossible to tuck my body under the table. That's got to be the most awkward position ever...especially when I wanted to be hunched over my test in concentration like all the other kids. Of course, we were all strangers in the room, so we sat there in uncomfortable silence, staring at our Scantrons, wondering if there were really 100 questions on the test. Finally, the hand struck 1:00 and our proctor promptly handed out the testing booklets.
Like we were back in grade school, our proctor read us the directions informing us how to correctly fill in the bubbles. I remember not needing this in elementary, and I'm pretty sure if anyone else in the room needed it, they would still be at home reciting the bunny loop poem while tying their shoes, wishing they had gone for Velcro instead.
An agonizing 10 minutes later, the test began. Remember childhood tests? You would be in your own world, minding your business until you heard the first FLIP. Someone has turned the page. Suddenly you're thinking, "Hey, what's going on? Oh no! They are already flipping. I'm gonna be last." FLIP, FLIP, FLIP. "Oh no, there go some more! Focus!!!" Well, it is totally like that, except this time, I am the first page flipper. Instantly, my mind begins the same game. "Why is no one else flipping? What are they doing? What's taking so long?" I flip back to investigate.
Question 1 What would you do if a child came in late?
a) tie him to the tether ball pole before recess
b) lock the door and cackle as he cries to be let in
c) encourage him to come to school on time
d) give him a swirlie in the toilet
(Well I'm pretty sure it's c.)
Question 2 What is 15 + 0?
a) 15
b) 15
c) 15
d) all of the above
(I have a good feeling about this one.)
Question 3 Which word is cat?
a) cat
b) infinitesimal
c) hydrochloric acid
d) shemozzle
At this point, a girl gets up to ask the proctor for some clarification. Puzzled, I move on. Ten FLIPS later, I finish the test. I check my work, trying to stall. Unable to hold off any longer, I stand up. Sceptical eyes drill into me. I know what they're thinking... "What a show off!" The proctor barely acknowledges me as I turn in my materials.
I always thought it would feel great to be the first one done, but I kinda felt like a louse.
Luis has also been taking tests lately due to this being finals week. You know how people do subconscious things while they test, like tap a pencil or drum their fingers? Well, yesterday, during his exam, Luis was apparently shaking his legs bit while testing, much like a woman bouncing her foot when her legs are crossed - NOISELESS. Unable to bear it any longer, a girl nearby summoned the proctor and began whispering and pointing. Reluctantly, the proctor walked over to Luis and told him to stop shaking his legs because he was distracting other people. Can you imagine? I can't take it anymore! His legs just keep bouncing! Ah! The movement! The annoyance! The funny part? Luis remembers talking to this same girl a month ago about an exam and hearing her complain about not being able to concentrate because of a student "shaking his legs" during the test. Hmm......
